We get so invested

in our own likes and dislikes that when we encounter someone with opposite likes and dislikes, we not only disparage the other person’s but we dig our heels into justifying our own. And thus force the other person to justify theirs. Why? Because I don’t like what you like I am NOT criticizing your choice. I just don’t share it.

I make a concerted effort to never comment negatively on something that is most definitely a personal choice.  Please don’t ask me if I like your new haircut, dress, coat, sofa, house, home decor choices. If I find something agreeable I will say so, if I don’t I will keep my mouth shut and my opinion to myself.  Your life, your choices. What makes you happy. I may not understand why it makes you happy, but do I really have to?

And I’d really appreciate that kind of consideration in return. I’ve never asked for anyone’s opinion about my personal choices. I don’t care if you like my haircut, clothes, furniture, home or home decor. I please myself, I chose what makes ME happy and suits MY lifestyle and I make no apologies if those choices don’t coincide with either the general, common wisdom or your preferences. Because – It’s My Life!

I’ve had people get pissed off at me because I don’t share their likes. Seriously? Let me give you an example. I don’t do holidays – Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, Easter , Thanksgiving, whatever – just another day to me (tho I do send Christmas cards – just a way to keep in touch at least once a year.) Therefore I do not do seasonal decorations. I don’t do any kind of decorations. I am a minimalist. I don’t want, or need, a bunch of ‘stuff’ cluttering up my home. I have just exactly what I need and no more. I have no attachment to things. If it doesn’t have a practical, useful function then I don’t want/need it. That’s me, okay?

Several years ago a friend thought I was deprived because I don’t put up a Christmas tree or Christmas decorations. I have, over the years, posted on my blog and on FB, that I don’t celebrate Christmas, don’t decorate, don’t care but she decided she knew me better than I know myself. So she sent me a live, mini decorated Christmas tree. What the hell was I supposed to do with that, I thought. First, I don’t want the damn thing. Second, I have nowhere to put the damn thing. Third, it had little bugs! – Eww.

So I took a photo of it in the middle of my dining table, posted it on my blog and FB, sent her a thank you note and then threw the thing away.  And wouldn’t you know, the following year she sent me another one. Okay, dokey – same drill, post photos, send thank you note, dump in the trash room. By the third year I’d had enough – I didn’t want her wasting her money for starters and I DIDN’T WANT THE DAMN THING.

So – I sent her note thanking her and let her know that while I appreciate the thought I just had no place to put it and in the spirit of the season I took it over to the senior citizen home across the street from me and they were thrilled to get it.

The upshot of that was – she no longer speaks to me. I suppose I could have just kept throwing them out and she would have kept sending the damn things and wasting her money.

Last year I had my kitchen renovated. I had the garbage disposal and the dishwasher taken out, I bought smaller appliances (NOT stainless steel BTW – I hate that shit), had flat panel cabinets in honey maple put in (NOT white shaker style cabinets – I hate that shit). I did some redesigning of the space so it suited MY needs and taste. And don’tcha’ know – the renovating company, the counter installers, a few people who saw the finished kitchen all said “But people don’t do that!”

Well, guess what – I’m not ‘people’.  I do not give a shit what ‘people‘ do. I needed my kitchen to work for me and be a place I like to look at and work in. Nor do I give a shit about ‘re-sale value’. When I sell this place then the people who buy it can make it what they want – that’s if they have the balls to actually make their home something particular to them instead of what all the rest of ‘the people’ like.

So – like what you like and what makes you happy and don’t apologize for it. And for the love of all that is holy – Don’t criticize other people’s happy!  Remember this –

imnotu

 

 

4 thoughts on “We get so invested

    1. Isn’t it amazing that so many folks don’t have the courage of their convictions even in simple things like what color to paint the walls in their home? and then they feel compelled to ‘attack’ other people’s choices in such things? I may think “what the hell were they thinking when they did that” but I would never say it out loud. Don’t rain on my parade ’cause I would never rain on yours.

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