Persona

“Your persona is the public image you present to the world. When T.S. Eliot wrote in “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” about preparing “a face to meet the faces that you meet,” he had the persona in mind.

In ancient Latin the word persona meant “mask.” The word also can refer to a character played by an actor. While a persona is not considered a lie or a falsehood, its meaning implies that it is only part of the truth. Like all masks, there is “real” person beneath. (Jungian psychology) a personal facade that one presents to the world” (From Vocabulary.com)

I’ve been on-line since back in the day when you bought minutes (minutes!) from AOL. Yes, that long and I am that old. I have never used my real name on-line, the exception being Facebook but even then, when I originally accessed FB, I did so under some other name.

I’ve been blogging since 2005 – different platforms, different names. I’ve purchased several domain names, even. Way, way back in the day there was something called entrecard which allowed a person to access a lot of blogs and be accessed in return. I had many followers and comments were where real discussions occurred. I miss those days. I miss the community, the exchange of ideas. None of my blogs had a theme, I never tried to monetize them, I had no agenda but to interact with people. The days of blogs being a community are long gone. The days of connecting to people are long gone, now blogs are simply vanity projects.

This blog, and this name is probably the 4th or 5th I have had this year (this year!). I like creating a blog more than I like writing one because no one is listening. No one is reading. And I never felt I could be myself. Of course, I’m not exactly sure who ‘myself’ is.

When I was young and social, when we girls would go out for a night on the town, we would never give our real names to guys we met along the way. My problem was coming up with a name that I felt comfortable with. Same with blogs or an on-line  persona. It’s not that I am uncomfortable in my own skin (so to speak), I am just uncomfortable in being myself in public. Well, no, that’s not right either. As much as I would like to be known, that is as much as I don’t wish to be known.

I don’t want anyone to look for me, yet I wish to be found.

The name ‘Margo’ came to me recently and I really liked it. I felt comfortable with Margo. The name Flutterby comes from a poem – “Butterfly, Flutter by, You’d better fly”.

So here I am, Margo Flutterby. How long I will remain – unknown. Who I am – unknown. A work in progress.

Can a person be both depressed and happy?

I would never call myself a pollyanna and yet, more often than not, I usually see the upsides of the downside.

No matter how depressed and sad I am I manage to laugh. Something, some little thing will bring a smile, a laugh, a chuckle.

No matter how gloomy my mood, or the weather, I can always find a ray of light.

No matter how low I sink into despair there will be moments of buoyancy.

On my wall is a framed tee-shirt. It was a gift from someone who seemingly knew me well. The tee-shirt says

“Compulsive, neurotic,
anti-social, manic
and paranoid,
But basically happy.”

And so I am…